Good morning!! It’s been a while since I’ve done a personal update. The original point of this blog was for my friend and I to have a way to track our personal progress while we continue to get more healthy.
This morning, even though I had a million pounds of Ice Cream last night, I actually feel okay.
I had to help a friend and ended up sleeping on an uncomfortable couch, so I have a horrible neck ache, but otherwise I feel pretty good.
I haven’t been having toilet issues. My guts haven’t been feeling painfully bloated. My BMI is down to 26.6. And although I haven’t checked my Blood Sugar since my last update, I can feel that it is stabilizing. My only noticable symptom from higher blood sugar that I have experienced is the frequency of urination and I haven’t had that issue for a while now! I can even sleep through the night without needing to go. Yikes. TMI. Lol.
Anyway….. I’m feeling sleepy over a tough night’s sleep, but I begin my day feeling fine!!
I am a Plant Tender, as my profession. All I do all day is drive around from store to store taking care of plants.
My job has changed because of technology because of my Smart Phone.
Are we still referring to them as Smart Phones? Lol. Sorry guys…I once lived in this crazy world that having even a home computer was a novelty, let alone the entire World Wide Web!
As I drive around for my job, I use my cellphone to connect to my car. Through the phone, I listen to music that every song playing has been personality picked by me. I often listen to entire Audiobooks while driving.
My favorite thing to do is go to my Google Movies App and listen to an old favorite movie that I know so well, I don’t even need to see it to know what’s happening. This brings so much calm, and peace, and joy during something that I don’t really enjoy, like driving.
I also use my Smartphone to keep track of all my work things. I have seen my boss two times in the entire time I’ve worked here. This is in thanks to having an awesome Smartphone that allows me to send emails and photos and texts…. anything needed.
Honestly, not nearly as often as I should. I have a bad habit of allowing others to dictate what will make my goals real. Yet, even while they are doing it, I know they are wrong. Or at least wrong for me. Sometimes their ways work but mostly not to how I saw the finished product/end result.
I cannot really even blame my family since for a long time I was not very functional beyond what was necessary and now we are trying to learn a new way of interacting in these regards.
Goals for each of us are personal even if it is just walking to the end of the drive way, or not eating that extra candy, or cleaning that cabinet, or doing a load of laundry, or even making that call to a long lost friend you haven’t talked to forever. All goals are important and can be hard for different reasons. But they are our goals and we should own them.
Take advice, listen to others, but own your goals and your vision of your goals. That is what I am having to learn to do more often. When I listen to others I have seen better ways, I am not saying I haven’t. But I need to learn to believe that I am capable of achieving my goals, and the people around me need to learn to allow me to have this belief and encourage it.
That is how I am learning to believe in myself and the goals I want to achieve. My next thing is just the motivation, or lack there of, to get going. Goals are goals on when we strive to achieve them.
One of my goals this year, to clean out our garden area. I have many steps to achieve this, otherwise this goal, like many of mine, would be way too overwhelming. How about you? How do you achieve your goals? Are you a jump right in or steps to achieve type person? Me, I like steps because I like crossing things off a list! Have a great day all! Kitt ☺️
I have a regular job. I have to be there by 445am. I happen to love my job. I get to count money all day that I am there. And best of all, I am not a cashier, I work in a back-office. (nothing against cashiers, I would just smack some of the people I have seen come into our store.) So my job is great. I don’t even mind getting up so early since I don’t sleep well anyways. But that is not my only job….
My family has a side hustle of crafting many different things. (Another post shows the hands we make) and I have to say, I wish that was my main gig and I worked for extra money.
Lately I have been making fur tails and ears, plus clay horns. Well, I became slightly obsessed and made way more than I thought.
Not complaining, I love them and now I have them to sell. It is actually quite exciting to me to know that when we start the different types of fairs and markets again I have a great supply.
What about you? Do you work for someone else, yourself, both? Honestly, I love my job, I don’t see myself quitting, lessening my days sure, quitting nope. Kitt 🦝🦊
I have three female friends. I talk with these people often and we know each other well. All three of these women have elderly parents. All three of these beloved people are my age….mid 40s.
I see their emotions going through such extreme highs and lows. I see two of these people often overcome with grief with their parents mental and physical decomposition. I see one overcome with hurt and building resentment because a mother is aging and changing into a person no one can recognize.
I do not envy these women, what lies before them in the coming years.
In the coming years, they will continue to experience the progression of their parents aging. Continue to witness the pain involved with seeing these once pillars of strength, degraded to acting almost like they are now the children needing cared for in every way.
Often as our parents age, there develops a bond like no other. The transition from authority figure to closest friend is a privilege to experience. Being able to grow into adulthood and have your mother…or father… available to help guide you through life’s difficult and joyous moments is quite possibly life’s biggest fantasy!!!
So, how can I help these three friends? How can I help them navigate through the next stages in their lives? The joy of being able to care for their elderly parents when they need their children the most? The pain these women will experience as a mother’s mental and physical health declines and forces them to have feelings of love mixed with resentment with the burden this new relationship can cause?
The answer, I guess is….I can’t help them. Although I have already experienced this stage of life with my own parents when I was very young, I can offer no words that will make it all better. And that makes me sad, because I don’t want my people to have painful moments ever….
So, I offer this….words of advice from someone who’s been without their parents now longer than they were with their parents.
You’re about to have the best and worst moments of your life. You’re about to have so much love and compassion and frustration and guilt like you’ve never had before or probably will have after. And one day you will experience grief like you’ve never experienced before.
I wasn’t close with my father, but my mother was my whole world. Her death so long ago, broke me in ways I am still recovering from. I wish I could save my friends from this pain.
So know, my ladies, the grief will overwhelm you. It will hit you like waves….sometimes just splashing at your feet….sometimes sweeping over you until you’re dragged into the undertow of sadness. But like with the waves, the tide goes out and there is calm. I absolutely promise you all the grief will never leave you….but as each day passes, the sharpness of the pain does get more dull.
You all will get through this. You are all strong and compassionate. You’re all braver than you can ever imagine.
And you have me. I will be here to listen when needed, advise when asked, and I will assist when required. You are not alone.
They teach me something new everyday. It’s amazing to me how, throughout the years.
They have taught me that patience is something I do not always have. Love is something I have so much if it over flows. Though I might not always like them, I always love them. They taught me, I might not always like them for that matter. They have also taught me that no one can hurt me as much as they can. But no one can make me feel as loved as they do.
Children are hard. But they are one of the best teachers I think a person can have. Kitt 👩👦👦♥️🤗😊
“Healing that comes from the gifts of the earth is as good as magic.”-Nella, The Lost Apothecary
I was listening to an Audiobook last week. The book is titled, “The Lost Apothecary,” by Sarah Penner. I loved the book!!! The characters were richly developed and I felt like I had lost touch with new friends when I finished the last words….
I love Audiobooks and honestly feel I can never go back to regular books unless it is a Field Guide or one of my Herbology Books!!!!! The Audiobook narrator does the most amazing voices too!!!!
I am an Herbal Apothecary, so I’m a sucker for any Earth-ie, plant-ie, witch-ie type books out there. I don’t normally read fiction based on the topic of healing, but the cover art was so beautiful! It drew me right in!!!!
The book is based on two time lines, and is centered around three female main characters….Nella, Eliza, and Caroline. Caroline lives in present day and the other two women live in the 18th century.
The whole story begins with Caroline finding a blue bottle that looked like it came from an Apothecary’s Shop. As she begins searching for answers to where the bottle came from, we get to know more and more about her life.
Nella, living in 1791, runs her mother’s apothecary shop, but Nella holds the burden of what her mother’s shop has turned into since she took over. Nella deals in poison!!!
Eliza is a 12 year old girl also living in 1791. She meets Nella because of an errand she has been sent on by her Mistress. It’s this errand that sets the whole story on fire!!!!
The book is full of emotion, excitement, humor, history, and a little bit of herbal medicine too. I can’t give away to much because the book is so great, I’d hate to ruin the story for you!!!
I will admit, I didn’t really get into the book for a couple chapters. I can say now…. WHEW….I sure am thankful I stuck with it!!!
Be sure to go to the publisher site for a free download with maps of Old London and information about the different poisons mentioned in the book.
I love my mom, I really do…. But she is driving me crazy. You see she kind of lives with me, my hubby, and our youngest son. The original agreement was she would be with us for six to eight months then go back to Florida. It’s been almost 3 years, she has been gone a total of less than 3 months in that time. It might not seem like a big deal to some, but that’s where you are wrong. You see, my mom has lost her mind. Allow me to explain.
My dad died almost 4 years ago. My mom was his primary care giver. You see he was on blood dialysis and she did it at home. So her house was basically a clean room at a hospital. Or as close as she could get it. She kept him alive for almost 12 years longer than any doctor said he would live. And up until the last 2 years he was active. So I understand her losing her mind with him dying and everything they went through. What I don’t understand is the woman my mother is becoming and the way she treats me mostly.
I am always worried when I ask her something if I am talking to sane mom or crazy lady mom. Example is her going, more accurately, not going to church. When she goes to church or her women’s church group she can get kind of preachy but she seems happier. She hasn’t been going lately. I asked if everything was okay and when she told me yeah why, I explained that since she hasn’t been going to church she has been more cranky. I tried to explain that I was worried about her. She got defensive and crankier with me. Then just short of stopped out of the house into the porch. So even showing concern for her will set her off into a spiral.
I honestly don’t even know what to do anymore. I have talked to Di about this and all the other crazy that’s been going on. Honestly, I have come to believe that I make her miserable. It is honestly how I feel. She talks with my kid and hubby just fine it seems but me and her seem to butt heads all the time. That or she is that fake smile and happy persona we all know, use, and hate.
I know I am just giving massive broad strokes here and there is obviously only one side here, but it is so taxing on me and my mind that I had to vent or talk it out or something.
I do love my mom. I Wanted her here. I did not need her here. Honestly, it has cost me money for her living with us. But I still want her here. I just want my mom though. Not this person inhabiting her body. For that I think she needs to be more honest with herself so she can be honest with her doctors. Because how it is right now, she has no clue.
I will try and make another post with a more linear progression of my mom living with us and the changes I have seen.
But for tonight, thanks for reading my semi-rant. I do appreciate it. If you have any thoughts or questions feel free to share. I would love to hear it. Past that, have a great night everyone. Kitt ♥️
I wish I could go hiking more every day. I love being in a forest!!!! I feel safe and calm and completely at peace among the trees.
Right now where I live, we are just breaking free from Winter. There’s not much snow on the roads, but there’s still quite a bit left deep in the forests. I get cold easy and in the Winter, I worry I will get sick….so I go out less.
I also work full time and afterwards, I can’t always muster the mental strength to get back into the car. This is crazy though because the second I’m hiking, I feel more positive and energetic!
So now that I’ve said this, I am going to get out there more. Maybe not every day at first, but definitely every week!!
I don’t think I would ever get a tattoo. I was once obsessed with a guy and thought if I got a tattoo with his name, that would be cool!!!!
I’m so glad I didn’t cause….NOT COOL!!!!!
I also find tattoos a bit gross. The process of getting one seems gross and having that in and on your skin just looks gross to me. Maybe it’s the colors….maybe it’s the thought of having something in my skin that I can’t remove without surgery? I’m not sure what….
However, if I would ever get a tattoo, it would be a teeny, tiny, black outline of a Unicorn. I would get it on the inner wrist of my left hand. I think that would be great!! I absolutely love Unicorns and that location on my body wouldn’t be to showy or draw attention to something private and just for myself.
Does anyone have any huge tattoos??!! Where are they??!!
Okay, maybe not plane with all the restrictions now, but the rest sound about right.
I love trains. I just find their sound so soothing. But I wouldn’t want it to be for a long journey, maybe a day trip.
Bus, okay so here is the thing with buses, they are fine in small doses. So again, maybe a small day trip…
Car and bike would be my main mode of transport. My son and I have actually talked about this. It started with us going to Florida from Michigan on bikes. Hooking up some child carts on the back for storage and to haul our two dogs. In theory, an awesome idea, in reality, not really doable.
So a rethink needed doing. We came to the conclusion that my jeep with a bike rack on the back, camping gear, and supplies is a much better way to go. This allows for bad weather and fun. Plus the dogs will be happier.
This is actually my dream in a way though. To have a home base to come back to, but also travel the country and go to different craft fairs or renaissance faires to help pay for my fun. I just see it being so fun. A van RV for me and the dogs with a bike rack for play.
That is what sounds fun for me. What about you guys and gals and everyone. Do you want to travel or are you a homebody. Honestly I am both so an RV would be the best if both worlds to me. Have a great one! Kitt 🚌
Where would you go on a shopping spree with unlimited money from an anonymous donation?
TRACTOR SUPPLY!!!!!!! 💚🌼🐇😺🌻🐣🐥
Have you ever been to Tractor Supply???!!! They have soooo many wonderful things there!!!
They have huge amounts of pet food and I gots lots of pets!!! They have all the medicine you need for animal care and even vaccines!!!
If you’re needing garden supplies….look no further!!!! Such insanely adorable decorations!!!! They even sell seeds and live fruit trees and whole, already growing, vegetable plants!!!!
There are also unexpected treasures there!!! I have found so many books about herbal medicine and foraging in that store!!!! Books about living off grid or a good Field Guide is MY JAM!!!!!
And finally…..the very best part about Tractor Supply???!!!
I can’t think of one thing on this planet that makes me freaking smile more than baby ducks!!!! (Maybe grizzly bears, but for a whole other reason.) And right this very minute, Tractor Supply not only sells baby ducks …but if you ask nicely, they will allow you to enter the cage and hold them!!!!!!! This afternoon, my kids and I were sitting in the middle of Tractor Supply covered in baby ducks!!!!
The best compliment I have ever received was someone telling me that I must be a really good mother because my children are amazing humans.
I usually joke and say….gee, where did these kids get it?? Who exactly is their mother??? They don’t get it from me!!!
But all that….. that’s just me doubting my choices.
So thank you to those who tell me I am a good mother!!! I’ve raised my kids almost completely alone and it’s not always been easy. But being a good mother is my entire purpose for this life and I welcome the compliment!!
Ps….it also doesn’t hurt when someone tells me I have a nice ass…just sayin…
I have been looking forward to this day alllll Winter!!!!!
What are your plans for celebrating? Since today falls on a Monday, I am forced to stick to the grind. But this weekend, my youngest daughter and I are planning on cutting down some reeds we found and try to weave baskets!!!!
So let me know if you have any plans for Ostara. Whatever you do, get out into the fresh air and breathe in all the new life!!!!!
As stated before, one of my favorite things to do is to watch movies multiple times in life and over analyze them.
Today’s instalment for your reading pleasure is one of my absolute favorites….The Big Chill directed by Lawrence Kasdan (1983.) The synopsis of the movie is a group of old college friends are brought together for the weekend because one of their group (Alex) kills himself. His funeral is what brings them together after so much time has passed since college.
I first watched this movie on VHS Tape when my mother rented it. I can’t explain it…. it’s definitely a grown up movie….but my very young brain loved it instantly. And I still do after all these years. The best part of this movie is it’s relevance to the human experience at every stage in life.
When I first watched the movie, I instantly identified with Chloe. Chloe, played by Meg Tilly, was Alex’s live in girlfriend. She’s easily 10 years younger than Alex and his friends. She’s lost and innocent and floating through life like a feather in the wind. My favorite quote from Chloe is….”I haven’t known that many happy people in my life. How do they act?” This line has always stuck in my head. When I was young, I went through some tough stuff. I have always been the clown and try to laugh my way through sadness. I felt, and still feel sometimes, like I am acting my way through “happy.”
As I grew, I began to identify with other characters.
Sarah, played by Glenn Close. She is (in my opinion), the main character of the movie. Sarah is now a career woman, wife, and mother, and also the former mistress of Alex. Sarah is happy with her life, but there’s always an air of discontent surrounding her. She loves her husband Harold, but always had a hidden passion with Alex, and before his death, they gave into it. It was as if their friendship went as high as it could go, and the sex that happened between Sarah and Alex was just a way for them to escape the responsibilities of the lives they had chosen. For years, I had friendships with men that lead to sex, and at the time I was fine with it because I didn’t see the harm those relationships were causing me in my life. I identified with the feelings of the fears of growing up and moving on. (Maybe I still do.)
Next is Karen, played by JoBeth Williams. In college, Karen dated Alex’s best friend Nick. She arrives at the funeral with her husband Richard. Richard is not Karen’s dream husband and all her school chums seem to be well aware of this. Karen states in the movie that she married Richard because she wanted to have children and be married to someone the exact opposite of her father. As her friends say in the movie….”Be careful what you wish for young lady, as you will surely get it.” Karen is miserable in her life with Richard, and beyond their two beautiful children, Karen and Richard are trapped in a loveless marriage she doesn’t know how to escape. I won’t say I know exactly what Karen was feeling in my own marriage, but…. I’m also not not saying that….
Alex is next. Alex, played by Kevin Costner, is only partially seen in the official edit of the movie at the opening credits. Alex is the unseen, unheard star of the movie. His death is what brings his friends together again. He filled his life with a series of random occupations that have absolutely nothing to do with the college degree he sought so passionately in his youth. Alex lost his hope in life and kills himself in Sarah and Harold’s bathroom. His life was filled with regret for making such terrible choices in life, basically wasting time over and over and over again. For most of my adult life from the age of 15 to about age 45, I suffered with bipolar depression laced with suicidal tendencies. (That was the official diagnosis anyway. I think it was all just unresolved trauma. But that’s another post all together.) Luckily I was not as successful as Alex in my attempts.
Finally Nick, played by William Hurt. At the age of 48, I am still identifying with Nick the most in my life now. Nick and Alex were like brothers in college. After college, Nick also begins his path of self sabotage by floating through life without making true connections to family and friends while avoiding his chosen college plan and taking random jobs that never force him to take a chance or fullfil his potential. Nick, through out the movie, seems to be headed down another path Alex chose…. suicide. Through help from his friends and from the love blossoming between he and Chloe, Nick decides to establish roots and finally accept that it’s time to grow up.
There are so many more stars and wonderfully written characters in this movie!!!! Harold, played by Kevin Kline. Sam, played by Tom Berenger. Michael, played by Jeff Goldblum. And Meg, played by Mary Kay Place. All these people have very rich and well developed storylines, and each of those actors are just fantastic!!!
Have you ever watched The Big Chill? If you haven’t, please do yourself a favor and view it right away!!! If you have seen this movie, which character or characters do you most identify with?
We get so few comments, Kitt and I would be tickled pink to get some going!!!!
And let’s be honest, even if they get tired of it, they still listen. Because they know at that point, you just either need to vent or you will be going to jail for the violence you are about to reek….
During the height of the COVID years, I could not wear a surgical type mask. Because of that, my job put me on leave of absence. Some saw it as a failure or weakness on my part that I could not overcome not being able to wear a mask.
I do not agree with these people. I tried to get over my issue with the mask. But I just couldn’t breathe while wearing it. Having it on my face would cause me to hyperventilate and freak out till I passed out. But I kept trying. Finally, I realized that all I was doing was increasing my anxiety and making the issue worse.
Because of this realization, I found that when I no longer cared about HAVING to wear it, but instead wore the face shield instead, my anxiety was nowhere near as bad. I had to find the strength in me to not listen and let the feelings of weakness and of letting others down dictate my life. My issues with masks was not a failure. They were a learning experience that allowed me to see that just because you can’t do something no matter how hard you try, it does NOT make you a failure. Instead it causes me to find another way to live. Did I like wearing a face shield? Not at all, but at the same time, I was thankful I could at least wear that.
Do not let failures dictate who or what you might be. That is a one way ticket to sadness, depression, and more in most cases. Allow failures to bring you new insights and finding ways to overcome.
That is a success for me. I learned. I adapted as best I could.
And so are you our faithful readers. You are more than you believe as well. Have a great night all! Strength be with you on all and any form you need! Kitt 😊 💪
I love to read. I read whenever I can. Honestly, I probably read too much at times. It’s a wonderful escape. I laugh, I cry, I simply smile, my heart rate can spike, and so much more.
I like hiking and other things don’t get me wrong. I like to see what’s going on in the world around me.
But reading… It allows me to escape the world that sometimes overwhelms me. It helps to recenter and calm my anxiety and slow my brain to allow me to reboot and start again.
In the past reading was a different kind of escape, I admit that. I had to find a balance to where reading was no longer my life. Today I think I have a mostly healthy love of reading.
What about you? Do you find reading an activity? Or do you see reading as a chore? I would love to know. If you have a favorite book, I would love to know that too. One of mine is called Ugly Duckling by Iris Johansen.
Hopefully clicking the image will bring you to where you can get the book if I did it right. 😋 If you read it or have read it I hope you let me know what you think.
Okay so my family thinks I am silly and I have to say, I agree with them, but dang it, I have to be me!
You see, in my house I have a cup for orange juice, a cup for lemonade, cup for soda, and yes everyone a cup for water. They are my cups. Mine I tell you! Lol 😂😂😂😂 And honestly, they are only used for those purposes. But wait, it gets better. 😂😂😂😂
You see my orange juice up and my soda cup changes during Christmas time. After Thanksgiving Dinner, the next day I break out the Christmas gnome mug for orange juice and a Christmas gnome cup for soda. And everyone at my house knows which cup is for which if I ask for a drink or if someone else is getting dinner drinks.
But I am not embarrassed by my childish love of my cups. They are my cups and when I see them they make me smile. 😊
So though it may be silly, I am proud of my cup collection. No I don’t have a cup for coffee because I don’t drink coffee but I do have a mug for hot chocolate and everyone knows not to touch it with coffee, yuck!
Sorry I know that’s not a popular thought but I am happy for those that do like coffee, and can I just point out that many have their own mug for that. Just saying. Lol
Though I may be silly for my cup collection, I am so happy to have them and the smiles they bring me whenever I use them.
How about you, do you have a special cup, plate, bowl, spoon or anything? Because yes I also have special ones of those, don’t judge me for my little happiness… Lol!!! Embrace the fun!!! So do you. I would love to hear about or see them! Have a great one! Kitt 🥤💘😊